I can't with my son! He never obeys! We have really tried everything, but it is useless! These are some of the most frequent complaints from parents. A constant and daily complaint that ends up exhausting your patience.Why are some children so disobedient? Why is one son obedient and the other not?
The truth is that each child is unique and unrepeatable and is born with their own way of being and temperament. From childhood, we distinguish them easily. Some are smiling, calm, relaxed, friendly, affectionate ... and others are restless, unruly, challenging, continually testing their parents.
Disobedient children have a strong temperament, are confrontational, defiant, continually measure strength, and want to be the center of attention. The downside is that they often succeed; sometimes due to exhaustion of the adults and others due to their perseverance.
Most of the time, disobedient children are insecure and confused; they are still children and as such they need the security that adults can provide. But a father who continually doubts how to face his challenges, how to react to his rudeness, to his 'deaf ears', is not the best example of security and balance.
Children think that we should always know what to do, and they don't understand that we doubt so much; sometimes, their attitudes are extreme, they seek provocation to see if, finally, we react and act!
In these cases, the records to record the behavior of disobedient children. When we do not know how to react, when we find ourselves clueless, tired ... let's write down exactly what happens in those moments! But to do it effectively, we will use the following table. We show you how to use it:
When we say something to him and the child does not obey, in the first column we will write down the day and time it is; then, as we have done in the example, we will write the rest. In this case, the log shows us how we have done the opposite of what we should.
In the end the child has gotten away with it! and we have acted incorrectly, because we have taught him that by answering badly, ignoring us and imposing the conditions, we end up giving in. Next time he will do something similar, as it worked for him.
1. Set clear rules for disobedient children
Children must be clear about what happens when they disobey. Example: we will say things only once and if they ignore, the consequences will be 'these' (depending on the case and age they will take you to your room to reconsider, they will not pay attention ...)
2. Act immediately if the child DOES NOT obey
Do not get into a fight with your children. (In the previous case, turn off the television and take him to his room to do his homework).
3. Do not fall for the provocations of disobedient children
Do not answer their complaints, directly do what you had proposed.
4. Do not try to reason with the child when he disobeys
It is useless to try to reason with the child when he disobeys, he will only try to mess us up and buy time.
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