All children have their own personality. There are those who are extroverts, but there are also shy kids, unruly or calm. Whatever their way of being, adults should not try to force the way of behavior of children.
Throughout their development, children change the way they react to situations. It may happen that the child when he is small is very outgoing and has the ability to be very sociable, but as he grows, the extroversion behavior disappears so children become more and more shy and embarrassed.
When children are young, their world focuses on playing, enjoying. They are the center and everything that is around simply belongs to the background. Throughout their maturation, the little ones begin to feel like one more and that what is around also counts.
From the age of two or three they can begin to feel ashamed for people they do not know. But it is from the age of five or six when socialization begins in full swing. Children begin to care about what others think, and begin to avoid behaviors that prevent them from criticism, so they will take into account everything around them before carrying out a behavior that may have a positive or negative impact on the opinion of others.
In any case, as the Arkansas Center for Effective Parenting report 'Shyness' notes, parents should never ignore shy behavior from childrenas they may be suffering a lot. If so, it can have negative effects on the present and future lives of our children. Often the main consequences are the lack of friends and the difficulty in solving their doubts with the teachers, which can lead to poor school performance.
It is normal for children to care more about socialization and friends, become more cautious in their behavior and feel more ashamed and shy. Therefore, it is something that adults have to respect, since children have their own times. But there are situations where help from adults is important:
- When there is exaggerated shyness and they withdraw too much in themselves, there is a risk of suffering from a serious socialization problem and this will bring problems such as lack of self-esteem, little negotiation capacity, inability to work in a group, etc.
- If the change from extrovert to shy it occurs quickly the adults around them must be alert as there may be a problem of abuse of some kind.
Parents who seek happiness for their children try to find all possible tools to help their little ones. By doing so, many times and unconsciously, parents force their children to undergo some type of therapy causing a major problem. This happens when the child goes against his will since this situation generates anxiety.
Instead of forcing the situation, it is better than parents of embarrassing children:
- Respect children's times.
- Talk to the teacherss to help by making them participate in class little by little.
- Accompany them for a while when they are with other children they do not know so that they gain confidence. Therefore, instead of forcing situations, we must go looking for balance.
In addition to taking into account the tips and keys seen below, there are different games and activities that we can propose to shy children so that they can reflect on shame, while strengthening their self-esteem.
- We learn what shame is
The importance of emotional education is that children learn, first of all, to understand and identify emotions. In the case of shame, it can be a bit more complicated, since it is a secondary emotion, which includes others such as fear or anger. It is important that we accompany and support children when they feel shy and that, once the moment of suffering is over, we make them understand that what they have felt is this emotion.
- Read a story or poetry on the subject
The stories are always a very useful resource in the education of children. In the case of the little ones who are shy, we can read a text that shows a character with shyness or shame (as in the story 'Teo's nightmare' or the poetry 'I'm very shameful'). In this way, the child will learn to identify that emotion and, in a more practical way, to recognize it in himself. In addition, some of these stories provide the little ones with tools to learn to manage this emotion.
- The beautiful message boat
Sometimes children who are often embarrassed have self-esteem issues. This lack of confidence in themselves is what causes them not to feel capable of facing certain situations. A very simple technique that we can use at home is the jar of beautiful messages. It is about finding a jar or a box in which we can put many papers in which we have previously written beautiful phrases addressed to different members of the family. Each day, we will take out one of these papers and read it out loud.
- The most special treasure
In a trunk or large box, we put a mirror. Then we give this closed container to our son and tell him that it contains the greatest treasure in the world. Once the child opens the box, it will be reflected: he himself is the best treasure. In the case of younger children, it will be necessary for us to accompany this game with an explanation and a talk, as they may not understand the metaphor well.
More resources to help shy children
10 tips to help embarrassed children. How can we help embarrassing children overcome shyness? We give you some very useful tips for parents of shy children, as well as some very useful resources. You should never force your children to expose themselves to what they are ashamed of, which is an emotion related to anger and fear.
How to help the child overcome his shyness. The family, father, mother and siblings, is the most suitable and conducive environment to help the child overcome his shyness. We tell you how shyness evolves in childhood and what we can do so that the shy child can overcome their insecurities and lack of child self-esteem.
What to do in front of the modesty and shame of children. What should be the position of parents in the face of shame and shame of children? Mónica Poblador's advice to respect the privacy of children. In this video, you will have tips on how to deal with the shame of children. How to respect your privacy.
5 games to help shy children lose their embarrassment. Helping shy children lose their shame is easier with these kids games. We propose some resources against child shyness that can be very useful for embarrassed children. Through visualization, we can help our children manage their emotions.
What children can learn from shame and how it influences them. We talked about everything that children can learn from shame as well as when it influences them in a negative way. Parents must teach children to manage embarrassing moments to work on their emotional intelligence and give them the tools they need.
You can read more articles similar to Children who become very shy as they grow older, in the category of Conduct on site.