Shame is an emotion (accompanied by other emotions such as anger or fear) that we have all felt at some point. Feeling ashamed or embarrassed about something is unpleasant. But, as with all other emotions, we can teach children to manage it. The first step is for the little ones to know what is shame and how it can be identified. The short poem 'I am very embarrassed', written for children by Marisa Alonso, has this objective.
In addition to the poem itself, we propose some activities to continue working on the verses with the children and we propose some keys that help parents of shy or shy children.
The following poetry is made up of three stanzas; each of them has 4 verses. Being a short poem, you can memorize and recite it, as an activity to exercise the mind.
I don't like being looked at
I get very red
and I feel very ashamed
when I feel observed.
If they ask me in class
I do not answer very nervous,
or when speaking I stutter,
They think I'm lazy!
But my teacher says
that I am not lazy,
everything that happens to me
is that I am very embarrassing.
Here we propose a series of educational activities with which you can work the poem with your children while making them reflect on what shame is. You can adapt all these exercises to the age and knowledge of your children, so that they are not too easy or too complicated.
1. Reading comprehension questions
To begin with, we can assess whether children have paid attention to reading and whether they have understood the message it conveys. To do this, we can propose some reading comprehension questions such as the following:
- How does the protagonist of the poem feel?
- What happens to you when you feel that way when you speak?
- What do other people think of him?
- But what really happens to him?
2. So what is shame?
Surely, by reading the poem your children have drawn some conclusions about what shame is. Ask them to find out what they have understood. Below, you can point out some of the signs of shame that are discussed in the poem and ask them some questions to reflect on. Here are some ideas:
- Sometimes when we are ashamed, we blush. The skin on our faces turns red and we suddenly feel very hot.
- Shame can sometimes make us feel nervous. This makes our stomach tickle, we get very hot, we start to sweat ... even from our hands!
- It may also be that we do not get the words we are looking for when trying to speak, and this makes us stutter. Do you know what it means to stutter?
- Although each one can feel a little differently when being ashamed.
- Have you ever been ashamed? What signs did you notice?
- What situations are you ashamed of?
- What do you do when you feel ashamed?
- How can we help the protagonist of the poem not to think that he is lazy?
3. Searching for the words
To end the poem, we propose an exercise to work on what the children have learned in Language class. Ask your children to find examples of the following words in poetry: a verb, a preposition, an adjective, a determiner.
Many parents of shy or embarrassed children may feel a bit frustrated that they cannot get their children to learn to manage this emotion. For this, we have some tips:
- We cannot fall into the error of thinking that 'he'll get over it'. Like all other emotions, we must help children understand what they are and manage them. As explained in the research 'Emotional education, evolution of the concept and implications in the legal framework of Primary school (by Noelia Cebriá for the Universitat de les Illes Balears), emotional education gives children the basic skills to understand emotions, but also for the integral development of the person and the prevention of, among others, low self-esteem or stress.
Hence the importance of not letting shame make children suffer without giving them the tools to understand it and learn to manage it.
- Do not force children to give kisses, to greet strangers, to talk with those they do not want ... The little ones should know that we are their support and that we are here to accompany you, if they need it.
- Do not fall into the overprotection of children, since this will prevent them from developing their autonomy and, with this, from facing what they are ashamed of.
- Encourage them to relate and get to know other children, for example, by proposing plans in a public park or signing them up for extracurricular activities.
- Not speak for them when someone addresses them. But you also have to avoid labels when saying phrases like: 'He is a shy child ...'. From so much repeating that your child is a shy child, he will end up believing it and it will cost him more to get out of that typesetting.
- Set an example, since we are the role model of our children.
- Beef up the self-esteem and the confidence of children. Many times, the fact of being ashamed is because they feel inferior than others. That is why it is so important to reinforce children's self-esteem.
- Avoid phrases that invalidate this emotion such as: 'As long as you continue like this, we'll leave', 'Enough of the nonsense', 'You're a baby' ...
Here is another list of resources and tips to help you guide your child when he or she is feeling shy or embarrassed.
The unhappy bear. Children's poem about shyness. This poem: The unhappy bear, is a children's poem about shyness, we can read it with the children and analyze what happened to the bear for being so embarrassing. Poems are a way to stimulate children's learning.
Teo's nightmare. Short story for children about shame. This children's story helps explain what shame is and why we sometimes feel ashamed. It is called Teo's nightmare and we have accompanied it with some reading comprehension activities and some advice for parents of shy or embarrassed children.
5 games to help shy children lose their embarrassment. Helping shy children lose their shame is easier with these kids games. We propose some resources against child shyness that can be very useful for embarrassed children. Through visualization, we can help our children manage their emotions.
That children are ashamed is not bad but they must know how to manage it. In certain situations children are ashamed and that is not bad. However, we must give them the tools so that they know how to manage the way they feel, especially in the case of shy children. We talk about the situations that most embarrass your children.
What children can learn from shame and how it influences them. We talked about everything that children can learn from shame as well as when it influences them in a negative way. Parents must teach children to manage embarrassing moments to work on their emotional intelligence and give them the tools they need.
This is what happens in children's brains when they are ashamed. Understanding what happens in children's brains when they are ashamed helps us to know how they feel in the moments when they feel embarrassed. We give you some tips so that you know what types of shame there are and how to help them manage this common emotion related to fear.
You can read more articles similar to I am very embarrassed. Short poem to talk to children about shame, in the category of Poems on site.