Congratulations, dear mom! If you are reading this post about the topics you should discuss or dialogue with your partner before your baby is born, is that you are already pregnant, or at least you intend to stay soon; so I allow myself the freedom to congratulate you. You have in front of you a very beautiful path of roses and the greatest adventure of your life, but that does not mean you should stop planning and thinking. The more prepared you have it, the better you will feel in every way.
Why do we have to think about all these issues now if we can do it as the baby grows? Because dialogue in the couple is essential, especially when faced with an event as important as the arrival of a child, and because talking about these things will help both of you to feel better.
Do not misunderstand, I don't want to tell you that you should decide all these right nowIt is not that at all. What's more, changes of opinion later are allowed. It is simply a matter of talking to your partner about the issues that concern the baby so that each of you can calmly express their opinion and point of view. On the other hand, many of these issues, sooner or later, will cross your mind, discussing them with the future dad will be a relief.
1. The little boy's name
What name could we give the baby was one of the first topics that I discussed with my partner before the arrival of our children. Surely you won't be surprised if I tell you that at the beginning we chose Paula's name if it was a girl; He was a child and in the end we called him Adrián. When our daughter was going to be born, Paula's name has already been forgotten, in the end between mom, dad and older brother we decided to name the girl Sandra. Do you see why I told you before that changes of opinion are allowed?
On this matter, it would be good if you talked about breastfeeding and whether, when the time comes, you will opt for Baby Led Weaning or traditional food with purees and baby food. You can take the opportunity to learn a little more about these topics.
3. The education
Don't worry, you don't have to choose which school you are going to go to, but it would be nice if you put on the table topics such as if you are going to go to nursery school or closer issues such as what to do at bedtime or even how to manage the tantrums. As I have told you before, books and talks can be of great help to both of you.
4. Define roles
Who will put the baby to sleep at night? Who will change his diaper at 4 in the morning? Who will be in charge of putting one washing machine after another? It is not necessary to make a schedule for the distribution of tasks, or if you are very meticulous, what I want to tell you is that with this type of conversation you will unburden yourself a little about the 'burden' that thinking about all the things that the arrival of a newborn.
5. Baby's room
This is one of the issues that you should discuss with your partner before the baby's arrival, why? Well, because it makes a tremendous illusion! What color will it be? How many stuffed animals will it have? Where will the crib go? How exiting! In addition, having the purchases planned and all the things that have to be prepared will give you a lot of peace of mind.
6. The role of grandparents
I remember as if it were yesterday when one of the friends I made when our children were babies told me that her mother-in-law would tell her every two by three: 'Let's see if you can take the baby's breast off so that I can take it home to sleep now and then. ' Granted, Grandma said it with the best of intentions and also to give parents an opportunity to sleep through the night. But of course, my friend, new mom, well, I didn't quite understand. Perhaps a conversation with your partner about the role of grandparents is also a good option.
All the things that I have just told you I discussed with my partner before our children were born, they were of great help to both of us! However, as is logical, many others remained in the pipeline. These, without going any further:
7. Values or religion?
Do you or your partner practice any religion? What about the family? Are you going to teach it to your children? What values do you want to support the child's education? If you comment now you will avoid uncomfortable decisions in the future. Another option to consider is, once your child is a little older, tell him the religion of mom or dad and tell him that he can choose as he wishes.
8. What to do if one says yes and the other no?
This he really should have talked about before! The child asks for something, Mommy says no and Daddy says yes, the conflict has already been created! I recommend that you discuss it with your partner and read books to find out how to act in these types of situations in which you do not fully agree on the education of children.
9. What to do when the baby cries?
Well calm him down, you think. Of course! But, do we let him cry for a few seconds to see if that way he learns to sleep alone? What if he cries because he hasn't got what he wants? I bet on respectful parenting with a lot of love in which limits also exist, and you?
10. Do we let him sleep in the parents' bed?
There are those who say that there is nothing wrong with co-sleeping and others who think that in no way, that they are not used to it. You decide! The important thing is that you agree so that later there is no anger.
11. How you feel?
This is another topic, perhaps one of the most important, that you have to talk about before and after the baby is born. Three words that are extremely comforting and that invite dialogue as a couple, could there be something better?
And you? What are the topics that you have in mind to discuss with your partner before the arrival of your baby? Would you include someone else on the list?
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