Human beings are nonconformists by nature, on many occasions they complain about what they have and want and want what they do not have. For this reason, many parents often do not know how to handle children's complaints, especially when these are continuous.
However, we cannot forget that, on the one hand, this attitude towards life can offer us different alternatives that will give a pleasant or unpleasant result depending on our response to these facts; that is to say, if I position myself in the protest or complaint and I have a passive attitude or if I position myself in the acceptance of my own reality and I choose to adopt a position of proactivity and improvement of what I have.
All this that may seem very philosophical, if we really analyze it and realize how we face our day-to-day life, that is most likely the attitude that our sons and daughters will learn, since it is what they will be living at home.
I always comment that we, as mothers and fathers, are the main reference and the first model of children's learning. Therefore, our little ones will not do so much what we tell them to do, but what they see us do. So first of all we are going to eliminate the phrase that we often say to our sons and daughters of 'don't complain' and we are going to make a personal observation of what that attitude of ours that I mentioned before is like.
In addition, for teach our sons and daughters not to live in that continuous protestI'm going to offer you some advice that may be useful to you, but remember that the first job is in us, as adults and references.
1. When a child complains, they are expressing their dissatisfaction with what is happening. From the field of communication, it's great that they put their point of view on the table. Another thing is the way in which they do it, which depending on the age will be in the form of a tantrum, screaming, crossed arms ...
2. In this moment of disagreement, it is important to accompany and understand, validate that anger and that complaint, although we probably don't understand it. Saying phrases like 'I understand that you don't like this' help calm you down.
3. Once our son or daughter has realized that we are on their side, that we respect and understand their situation as best we can, it is very convenient to use the technique of the question: 'what can I do for you?', 'What do you need now?'
4. Every day, every night before going to sleep or even at specific times of the day, we can thank that good thing that is happening to usIn this way, by verbalizing it, we become more aware of the number of good situations we have, and that no matter how insignificant they may seem, they are worthy of being grateful. From the clothes we wear, the smell of grandmother's delicious stew, a time of family games, the air that I feel on my face or the tickling of my brother.
5. As for the children's complaint, it is advisable to discuss the situation with them later, calmly, since it is a learning opportunity. Above all, helping them figure out whether their answer was the most accurate and how can we improve for next time.
Also, in game form, we can dramatize with them if we are more comfortable with an angry face or a happy face, with crossed arms in protest or with relaxed arms ready to play and hug.
6. And finally, search together for the solution. Our children need us to help them regulate and find solutions, not give them to them. Every complaint, every protest has an opportunity for improvement, for a creative solution from acceptance, and in that space is where we have a very nice task with our sons or daughters.
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