When our children do not behave as expected, we often ask ourselves the question, are we doing it right? But perhaps this question should be asked more often and not only in the 'bad times'. Why should we ask ourselves if we are doing well as parents?
That mom or dad has not ever felt guilty about something their children have done? It is more common than many do not like to recognize. Am I doing it right? Or worse, what have I done wrong?
Generally we usually feel like this when we see something negative in our children, an unexpected behavior and we observe a difficulty in reaching a goal according to their age ... Then, the guilt appears, we think that everything we do has negatively influenced our children and that Therefore, we are the reason why they have not been able to advance.
On the other hand, when everything is going well, do we ask ourselves the same question? Not always, right? And is that this question of wondering if we do well as parents is a kind of yin and yan, a question that only shows our thoughts when something goes wrong. However, like everything in life, you have to find the middle ground.
From my point of view, I believe that as moms and dads we have a great responsibility ahead of us: to be the best parents we can be. This powerful phrase contains two great challenges to face motherhood and fatherhood.
The first is to accept that we are not perfect and that sooner or later we will be wrong. But this challenge does not mean that we always apologize for having done wrong. And here comes the second challenge, strive. Yes, strive every day to be the best parents our children can have, which implies having the commitment to learn from our mistakes, always try to be better as parents and, to look for ways to raise our children to ensure their happiness and well-being.
This is not about constantly living with guilt, wondering what we are doing wrong, but living with a certain alertness wondering what we can do better, what we are not doing at all well and how to improve it. The idea is not to crush us, but to be a little more proactive in raising our children.
For me that is the key. When you internally assume that you want to be the best version of yourself as a mom (or dad), you worry about it and always try to reflect before acting, to learn from what you've experienced to try not to make mistakes, especially those wounds that can affect emotionally To your childs. Don't get me wrong the mistakes will still be there, but by being a little more aware of what you are doing, you get around some of them.
Asking ourselves often if we are doing well as parents can be a very positive exercise if we focus properly. Doing it only when something negative has happened will not be very useful, although it would help us to try to learn from it. But doing it to get ahead of events (not to torment you) can avoid more than one headache. And is that this question can lead to a much healthier parenting behavior.
If we often ask ourselves our role as parents, we can detect certain behaviors earlier (both in our children and in ourselves), start to change them and ask for help if we need it.
Too this proactive attitude helps to be more informed, be more open when talking to other people about our motherhood or fatherhood or even have a greater capacity to seek creative solutions with a much more tolerant and informed mind.
In addition, something very important, allows us to feel greater security with ourselves as parents, since by seeing things from different angles, we have the opportunity to make much more thoughtful and reconsidered decisions. Anyway, all are advantages!
My advice is that you do not torture yourself thinking about everything you are doing wrong, but do not relax thinking that you are doing everything right. It's about finding the middle ground, always remembering that as parents we are committed to loving and caring for our children, with all that this implies.
Doing a respectful parenting, as respectful as possible, is our duty as moms and dads, and that is something we always have to keep in mind, both in good times and in bad times.
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