Have you ever heard of boiled frog syndrome? Sometimes, when we let a circumstance or behavior pass with our children, it can end up causing unwanted consequences in their way of being or behaving. And, sadly, this is something more common than we would like. Here are some examples of situations in which children are victims of boiled or cooked frog syndrome.
He boiled frog syndrome refers to an analogy used to explain what happens when a situation or problem progresses almost imperceptibly and is gradually so slow that its negative effects are not captured in the short term. This lack of awareness generates that there are no immediate reactions, so that the situation continues to grow and having consequences that are only perceived in the long term, when it is much more difficult to reverse the damage that has been generated.
The premise is that if you put a frog in boiling waterIt will pop immediately, however if put into warm water that is slowly heated you will not perceive the danger and will cook to death. This story is used to illustrate the inability or unwillingness that we often show to react in time or be aware of the danger that slowly arises from certain situations and that we let go too far.
That is why as parents we must be very careful not to allow the situations of 'cooked frog'that can be presented with our children. Here we talk about some of them.
Sometimes addiction or excessive (and premature) use of new technologies can make children fall victim to boiled frog syndrome. And it is very easy for this situation to get out of control easily. It is a fact that we give children tablets and cell phones at an earlier age and as they grow older, more and more time they spend in front of them, missing out on other stimuli, other games, other experiences ...
And then when they fail to find satisfaction in anything other than a screen, it seems sad and unacceptable to us and we begin to fight an already very difficult battle to win. Because while it is true that we can take away their cell phone or tablet, we cannot generate in them so easily at that point, the desire to play with other things, to use their imagination, to enjoy a walk in the open air, an afternoon of games table, read a story, etc.
So what can we do to avoid it? There are no magic formulas or wonder remedies here, it's just about delay as much as possible the moment when our children have a mobile in their hands, a tablet or a game console and once they have had it and enjoy it (because it is not about avoiding it at all costs) limit the time they spend in front of them, even in spite of our own comfort.
Taking them for walks, giving them simple materials to play or making crafts, reading a funny story with them, sitting together to play a board game, these are all home activities that we have to encourage in them to avoid after it is too late.
Those children who seem to never be satisfied, who always want more, who are not excited about anything, nothing seems to meet their expectations ... None of these children got to that point out of nowhere.
The water heated up when we as parents agreed to all his wishes, when we don't let them get frustrated by nothing, when we arrive with the newest toy before they have enjoyed the previous one, when we fill them with so many stimuli that none seem attractive, when we give in to the slightest whim and then we end up wondering why they have such a demanding personality and why nothing seems to fill them.
How do we avoid it? We must avoid reaching this point being aware that for our children to have a tolerance for frustration and learn to enjoy things, we must let them get frustrated, stay wanting something, wait to receive what they want, strive to win something and let them try and exhaust one experience before jumping on to the next.
Here the water begins to rise in temperature when they are very small and we fail to set the limits.
For example, when to avoid a tantrum we give them what they want, although they have not asked for it in the best way; when we allow them significant disrespect because we are in a good mood or to avoid a scene; when we let go without any consequence being yelled at, rude or hurtful to us or others ...
If we fail to establish clear limits and consequences, as well as to make it clear to them from an early age which behaviors are acceptable and which are not, we cannot expect them to grow up developing adaptability skills. flexibility and good manners.
So we ask ourselves, how can we avoid this example of boiled frog syndrome? First of all, we must be a model for them in terms of what is acceptable and what is not, then always remain consistent and firm in the face of behaviors that are not, and finally apply consequences related to repairing the damage, as well as learning to offer apologies; there's no more.
These are children with little empathy, who develop patterns of verbal or physical aggression towards those they consider inferior.
In our desire to nurture drive and strength of character in them, we can foster in them very competitive attitudes and ways of underestimating the ability and worth of others, developing behavior patterns that make them be rude, mocking and disqualifying as a strategy to excel.
So how do you avoid it? Since they are very young, we must be attentive to the signs and the way they relate to others; teach them to respect others, to understand differences and to appreciate them. Teach them to enjoy the game beyond the result, to compete with themselves and to recognize their abilities, but also those of those around them.
If we catch them disqualifying, mocking or making negative comments about anyone, it is behavior that we cannot let go of. It is important to let them know that it is unacceptable and to help them through anecdotes, stories, stories and films to develop empathy, solidarity and generosity as fundamental values for socialization and for their formation as human beings.
As we can see, there are many situations that can gradually, gradually, without realizing it, escalate to very complicated and difficult to handle points that they will only bring unhappiness and dissatisfaction to our children; Let's stay tuned to discover them and act in time.
You can read more articles similar to 4 everyday examples of boiled frog syndrome in children, in the category of Conduct on site.