We all want to have that daughter or son who is emotionally intelligent, with values, self-assured ... right? And you may be wondering right now: 'How to do it?' The answer is easy: being that person we want to see in them and, above all, controlling our negative emotions so that they do not affect children.
For many parents, the difficult thing is to control their 'negative' emotions and, thus, give the best of them with affection and unconditional love. For this reason, in this article I would like to share with you ways to detect and control these emotions, and give you tools to educate your children by example. And all with a clear objective: than our children naturally learn to be emotionally intelligent people.
And it is that, according to the report 'Emotional education in the family', carried out by Olga Mollón Bou for the Universitat Jaume I, 'parents must have a good emotional education. If a father knows how to identify his own emotions well, it will make it easier for his son to know what is happening to him and he will be able to help his children to be emotionally intelligent.
Let's imagine for a moment a fruit crop. What happens when there are drastic weather changes? Depending on the turbulence of the weather, the crop can suffer to the point of changing the size, taste, smell or color, affecting of course the final result of the fruit.
The negative emotions of parents are for children like the weather effects on crops. If parents are experiencing stressful situations, depression or any other circumstance that throws the balance of their emotions, they can easily lose patience with their little ones, not guide, impose, educate with shouts, impose disproportionate punishments or fall into the fatal mistake of physically or emotionally abusing the minor.
These acts leave sequels in children that prevent them from experiencing life with happiness and harmony. Finally, they are the ones who assume the consequences of an adult who wants a balanced child, from an unbalanced example.
Controlling emotions is not an easy task for any human being. We all make mistakes and it is acceptable to err at some point. The important thing is to know how to detect when there are constant imbalances and assess the severity of the reaction to the lack of control.
Doing so helps to avoid toxic feelings derived from these behaviors, such as guilt; therefore, the importance of becoming aware and mastering negative emotions. This is the best way to set an example and raise emotionally intelligent children. Who doesn't want this for their kids? It is a very popular phrase lately, desired by parents and requires great effort.
Based on the control of your emotions, your children will grow up happy, with strong self-esteem and well-established values. To guide them it is essential to dedicate time, analyze your way of acting and reasoning. Telling yourself the truth and speaking to yourself with your heart is necessary to change those behaviors that generate dissatisfaction. and that they do not allow you to educate your little ones with the balance and love they deserve.
There are different ways to better manage negative emotions and deal with them anywhere. It's about doing an introspection exercise that will help you get to know yourself better. By listening to your body, you can anticipate the impulses derived from emotions and control the reactions and words that in moments of emotional imbalance can damage self-esteem and overshadow the happiness of your little ones. If you think it can help you, I invite you to continue reading.
1. Listen to the signals your body gives you
When you do, it is easier to control the actions and words that precede it. Ask yourself: 'Where in the body do you feel the discomfort and what is it like?' For example: If you feel anger, it is most likely that your body temperature increases, your heart rate increases and you may even feel pressure in your chest (it depends on the person). Being aware of this fact will help you to quickly control future situations of emotional imbalance.
2. Identify and name the emotion you want to manage
It is something that seems obvious, however, it is easy to confuse one emotion with another. Ask yourself the following questions: 'What do you feel?', 'Why do you feel it?' and 'What has generated it?' It will help you get to know yourself better and find solutions more easily.
3. Think of ways to help you control your emotions.
You can use the one you like the most. The important thing is to know what you are going to do when negative emotion wants to take over your actions and your words. For example: The moment you start to notice the unpleasant bodily sensation, think about what came next if you don't stop in time. Another option may be to have a glass of water or perform a breathing exercise that gives you scope to seek more empathic alternatives with your little ones.
4. Having a positive attitude always helps.
Choose a phrase that motivates you and express it even if you don't feel it. Little by little you will establish it in your way of thinking, generating in your subconscious more empathic ways of acting and speaking.
To achieve this, you can also help yourself with effective techniques that can help you manage negative emotions, such as reading self-help books, doing meditation, practicing yoga at home or attending sessions of specialists in management of emotions.
Just as the farmer reaps a valuable harvest after a great effort, you too, thanks to your effort and dedication, can enjoy life in the company of emotionally balanced children. He who sows, reaps!
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