Children go through several evolutionary stages during the growth process and during this process they develop different types of emotions from which to learn. One of the emotions that is most present throughout life is the well-known FEAR. Not knowing how to manage it properly can hurt and influence the child's way of relating and being happy. In this article, I would like to share how to detect them and what we can do to help our little ones overcome them: have you heard of memory game to help the child overcome their fears?
Feeling fear helps the child grow emotionally and it also protects you against dangers, but there are others that can limit you and prevent you from moving forward. In some cases, these fears can even be motivated by parental behaviors that inadvertently cause these fears to generate blockage
Let's analyze the following situation: Your boy or girl wants to learn to ride a bicycle, but is afraid. We can think that the child is fearful, and if so and express it. He can understand that he is not capable and it is likely that another day he will not want to try.
This type of assessment stays in the subconscious and encourages fear to settle in your way of thinking and feeling. Let's think that if he does not want to try it, it is because he is not prepared for that challenge and, although it is very good to motivate him, it is also important not to insist when we observe that the child is having a hard time. We can say, 'Honey, we'll try later' and highlight similar things that you do well.
There are techniques used in Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP), in which fears or phobias can be treated and that I have enjoyed applying with my daughter. He was able to eliminate the giant that tormented him in sleep and awakening! If you want to know more, I invite you to continue reading.
The two most common ways children express their fears are:
- Body shape
It can be expressed with sweat on the feet, hands or other less common areas of the body such as the legs. They can also express it with anxiety symptoms such as fatigue, rapid breathing, upset stomach, nausea ... In babies and younger children, the most common form is crying.
- Psychic form
They can express it by feeling rejection, shame, rage, anger, mental collapse ... To effectively evaluate the child's behavior and emotions, we create an environment of emotional withdrawal.
I propose a fascinating activity using imagination and creativity. It's about creating a story to 'fool' the subconscious. To do this, let's use our child's experience of fear and mix it with one of ours lived happily.
This mix of memories turns the initial fear into something distant that the child later does not remember. Try it and you will be surprised! The first thing to do is analyze situations and then develop the story.
1. Remember a true story that made you very happy
Analyze details of happiness, think about what you felt, how you felt it and where. Identify what has been experienced with sight, hearing, smell, taste and touch. Take into account external factors such as night, day, heat, cold, colors, etc.
2. Let's analyze how our boy or girl expresses fear
It is very important to clarify what emotions you feel, how and where you feel it. Take into account the same external factors that we mentioned in the previous point.
3. Prepare the environment
The child should be relaxed and receptive, preferably in a comfortable place without distraction.
4. Let's make a brief summary about the fear we want to eliminate
Let us remember with our children a time when they experienced the fear of trying and allow them to participate in the development of their story. The idea is that you experience it mentally and bodily. In this way, we transfer him to the memory and it will be easier to assimilate the objective of the story that we will tell later. Let's be concise so that the child does not lose concentration.
5. Let's mix the stories
Now tell your story including changes and nuances that cause your child to be afraid. For example: Once, your mother and I went dancing. We were very happy, that night it was hot and raining, I felt that my feet moved when listening to the sound of music, the atmosphere in the enclosure was very happy and festive.
Your mother did not want to go in because she was afraid of slipping, she was wearing high heels that she could trip over. In the end, I convinced her to come in, and when we danced she wouldn't stop sweating. While I was laughing, he kept complaining about slipping. In the end, she did not want to stop dancing, the fear of tripping had disappeared ... (continue to reinforce as you see fit).
6. Let's check results
Ask your child to recall the experience of fear, but in this case do it superficially. You can verify that the child is no longer able to remember the story clearly. In this part, it is important not to insist and stop talking about that fear, because the more we talk about it, the more we establish it in the child's memory.
Fears limit the life of the human being, let us rely on everything we have within our reach so that children free themselves from that tie that can prevent them from shining and, above all, as explained in the report 'Orientations to children's fears', carried out by Orientación Andujar, 'avoid overprotection because that only generates dependency'.
You can read more articles similar to Creative memory game to help children overcome their fears, in the category of Fears on site.