Words have powers. I don't quite remember who or when I heard this statement, but what I do know is that over time I realized that this is very true. There are words that hurt, that hurt, especially if they are said many times by parents or teachers. The screams and explosions they use Verbal violence lowers children's self-esteem
Parents often do not realize what we are saying. And it is enough that the children do anything that was not in our 'script' so that we let our 'claws' come out through the tongue. And God knows what some of us are capable of saying! I remember very well that one day, while I was walking my dog, I saw a father teaching his daughter, who was about 5 or 6 years old, to handle her new companion, a puppy.
The father explained to her how she should carry the leash, how she had to position herself, but at a certain moment the puppy, when he saw another dog, began to bark and of course, the girl was nervous without knowing what to do. And that was enough for the father to start yelling at his daughter and telling her that he should never have bought her a dog, that she was stupid, stupid, than that or that. I put myself in the girl's shoes, and I felt like the most underappreciated person in the world. I sank...
The verbal abuse that some parents use in the education of their children is an act that generates emotional and psychological damage imperceptible to the eye, but with difficult to remove footprints in children. They take away their self-confidence and they are left without the ability to react, they paralyze them. Phrases like 'You are stupid', 'I wish you had never been born', or 'don't mess with my stuff' only insult and belittle the little ones, and make them create a negative image of themselves.
Because of this, the child can show:
- Difficulty relating to others
- Get bad grades in school
- Getting wet in bed, or getting into thumb sucking habits
- Unable to defend against other types of abuse
1. Insults make everything you want to say to your child lose effect. Children will not obey you if they notice that you are angry.
2. If you insult your children frequently, they will learn that insulting someone is normal. They will not control their anger and will possibly yell at you like you yell at them.
3. Every time you throw an insult at your children, you will be generating fear and insecurity in them.
4. The yelling and insults that you transmit to your children will only create a great gap in communication between you. Who wants to live with someone who just screams and transmits anger?
5. Insults, as well as yelling, are a weapon of massive destruction in the self esteem of your childrens. His self-esteem will wane over time and he may become authoritarian and aggressive, or he may sink into the shell of fear and become a skittish, complex adult.
He self-leadership specialist, Matti HemmiIn an interview with our site, he has indicated 6 mistakes that parents make and that do a lot of damage to their children's self-esteem. Let me tell you:
1. They should never criticize children with the verb SER
Children are not stupid, bad, or stupid. If you label your child as someone bad, he will end up believing himself as such. Children can do bad, dumb and stupid things, but never tell them that he is bad, or dumb or stupid.
2. Never reprimand or call the attention of children in public
When children have a wing attitude in front of their friends or their friends' parents, expect to scold them privately and never rebuke their actions in front of other people.
3. Never insist on a children's past mistake.
What happened is past. We should not insist and always remember a bad action of children in the past. We must make them learn from their mistakes and move on without repeating them again, but not be bringing the past to the present.
4. Never compare your children with other children
Each child is unique in his way of being and learning, he cannot be compared with his brother, cousin, friend or whoever he is. Value the qualities and virtues of your children.
5. Never repeat the mistakes of your parents in dealing with children
That 'my parents spanked me and nothing happened to me' you may have lived it and nothing has happened to you but do not repeat it in your children. We should not justify an attitude towards our children because we have been brought up with it. Apply positive discipline in the education of your children.
6. Never forget your own self-esteem
Parents with low self-esteem can cause a lot of harm to their children. It would be nice to have your self-esteem checked. Reinforcing and stimulating one's self-esteem is essential for children to have a good role model.
You can read more articles similar to Verbal abuse - Violence towards children, in the category of on-site abuse.