It is important that children grow up in an environment that helps them build security in all aspects of their lives, although it is normal for them to experience insecurity at times. They are developing their self-esteem and it is part of the process. ¿How to detect insecurities in children and give them more confidence?
Security is a value that gives us happiness. It helps us face any experience with determination and determination. Also to take paths that lead us to success more easily in all areas of our life.
A child who does not enjoy this value is more exposed to delays in psychomotor and intellectual development and he lets himself be carried away more easily by others, leaving as a result, a child who ceases to be himself, to become what others want. Even due to this insecurity, they can suffer bullying, which is also present in young ages.
When you are sure of yourself, you believe in yourself and your self-esteem is high. This circumstance, as María Rosa Broch Álvarez says in her work for the International University of La Rioja 'Self-esteem in 4-5-year-old children at school and in the family', 'having good self-esteem favors personal improvement, facilitates the resolution of problems and allows to face adversity and face them '.
For example, we can observe limitations in the development of some activity that the child refuses to do. We can simply think that you do not like a certain activity, but it can also be an indication of insecurity that is preventing you from spontaneously experimenting with what you would like to try and that you do not dare. That is why it is important to detect if insecurity is motivated by limitations, such as fear or is something momentary.
How can we parents know if our child is insecure or has an insecurity problem? There are two ways to do it:
- We can detect it through non-verbal language
It is about analyzing this value through your perception system (sight, hearing and body sensations). Example: 'We see that you like to observe how children skate, but you have some skates that you do not use'. In this case, we can see interest in said action, therefore, it will be important to assess ways to motivate him to experience it.
- Through verbal language
In this case, the child expresses verbally why he does not want to do a certain action. It will be clearer depending on the age and, in others, it will be necessary to inquire through clear and specific questions for each case. Example: In the case of older children, who do not want to relieve themselves on the potty. Let's find out what causes you rejection. You may find it uncomfortable, afraid of something, or not ready to put down the diaper (everything has a process and each child has its own rhythm).
In both cases, let's use open-ended questions that allow them to express themselves.
With our actions and attitudes we can help strengthen child safety. How can we do it? Write down these tips!
1. Feeling loved and heard
This is the basis of whatever value we want to teach. If we do it from here, there is nothing that can go wrong. The love and patience that listening requires brings us great rewards that we can only observe when we see them happy and feel satisfied with a job well done.
2. Allow them to accept challenges
For some parents, this is a challenge for them too. Overcoming the fear of getting hurt or hurt is not easy, however it is essential. When the child embarks on an adventure that can be complicated and different, it transports him to discover capacities, which in turn, motivates him to set goals and objectives to face new learning.
3. Know that they can be wrong without fear of being judged
Failing and still feeling loved, respected, and valued is critical. It drives them towards continuous learning and reinforces perseverance. Feeling that whatever happens, mom and dad will be by their side, it gives them security and protects them from the famous 'what will they say'.
4. Let's recognize the effort
Highlight the good attitude and effort and not the end result. This helps the child to keep trying and to appreciate that the important thing in many cases is not the result, but the path traveled, such as 'how much he has laughed with his friends'.
5. Accept him as he is, without trying to change his fairness or hobbies
Let us not doubt their abilities and tastes, they know what they want, although some still do not know how to show it in words. The psychomotor development of the child allows them to experience what they are prepared for and helps them face challenges that motivate them. Sometimes adults insist on encouraging what they like, and not what the child likes.
6. Motivate you
Let's find moments to say how well a certain role has done or performed, and highlight key points that we liked. Expressing what can be improved is also very useful to encourage improvement. But be careful, let's not fall into perfectionism.
7. Mark limits
Knowing how far you can go gives you the security to love yourself. Without knowing it, we are strengthening that in their environment they are able to set limits and know how to differentiate between what is right and what is wrong. It gives them security to face actions with arguments that may go against their physical or moral integrity. For example, in the case of ill-intentioned people who want to take them down undesirable paths.
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