Have you ever wondered what information you are transmitting to your children and how we are doing it to avoid future psychological consequences that we later have to regret? We want our children to be happy, but how does what we communicate influence this entire process and our goal? When speaking it is very important that parents transmit security so that children grow up with love. Here I am going to give you some guidelines!
At this current moment, what seemed normal is no longer normal, and the little ones in the house live a regrettable situation that forces them to separate themselves from everything that was knownThey liked it and, as if that were not enough, also their friends. We clip their wings in the best moments of their lives, moments in which they explore with greater impetus everything that surrounds them.
If some of you who are reading this article for various reasons have not been able to analyze the impact of their words at the time of transmitting the appropriate message to their child, or if you think you can improve it, do not miss it. Put in place a plan so that your little one understands where the real problem is and let's save them from situations that far from contributing, demoralize them and do not allow them to experience life in a healthy environment full of love.
It is essential that our children do not accept the belief that interacting, hugging or kissing is bad and avoid at all costs that it conditions them in any way in their development. Remember that they see the world in a very different way, that their senses are heightened and it is just what they need to experience life more successfully. Why everything we see and do affects us in one way or another, leaving us with unforgettable memories.
But what happens when we allow the circumstances of the moment to intrude on our daily lives and we allow information to drift from the first thing that comes out of the mind?
Happens that If we do not focus the information well, the child can live this experience as a marathon of feelings and emotions that are harmful to their well-being such as selfishness, lack of empathy, neglect of sharing, even in some it can cause fear and frustration and, as a result, children find it difficult to relate and fully experience their environment.
Let's think of an experience that we would not repeat? If the experience has been negative, our mental defense system puts up barriers, fears and prejudices so as not to go through the same thing again.
It is essential to convey this new way of relating with assertiveness. Make it clear that it is a health issue, that it is temporary and that it has nothing to do with people. Let us fill your heart with good experiences to remember and let's motivate the child with phrases that take them to the future, the one in which they can go back to playing in the park, hugging, kissing, sharing ...
There are several techniques that can help us explain certain information with the focus we want, discarding the possibility of misinterpretation by children. I want to share with you a tool used as a neurolinguistic programming technique (NLP). It is about consciously explaining the current situation by changing the order of the sentence.
1. How do we get the message across?
Important: Look into the eyes, use a calm tone of voice and a loving tone.
2. What do we communicate?
Let's decide what we are going to communicate and in what order. Our brain tends to stay with the first sentence we express, since it has a greater impact. The rest tend to forget it more easily.
3. Check that you have understood
Listening and observing the language you use is essential to know if they have understood it. That way we will know if we should reinforce the message. Below I detail it with an example.
Example 1 (No technique)
We can say to our child: 'Remember that you cannot approach your friends or touch anything. That there are viruses in the street. '
In this case, the first part of the sentence is focused on the person 'your friends'. Therefore, the child can interpret that the problem is the person and not the circumstance. (Remember that this is the one that tends to stay in our mind and the one that receives the first impact).
Example 2 (Applying technique)
We can say to our child: 'Remember that for the moment and in order not to fall ill, it is better to keep your distance in the street. Later you can play with your friends. '
In this case, the first part of the sentence is focused on the circumstance 'for the moment and so as not to fall ill', and finally, we explain in a positive state to the person 'Later you will be able to play with your friends'. The previous example can be used for other situations that you have to talk about or deal with with your child.
And what else can we do to transmit a certain message to our children firmly and safely and for them to understand it correctly?
- Let's ask the child to remember how he used to relate and we support stories or tales.
- Let us find in his mind possibilities to return to the past and project him into the future, so you don't forget how happy you were when you could share, hug, kiss.
- Let's motivate them to express their emotions. Let's teach by example, we already know that they are faithful imitators. If they see that we express it, they will tend to do it too.
It is a mental training, which requires us to go further. It is anticipating the consequences of something for which we are not prepared socially or culturally. Let's take advantage of the spaces that life gives us to sustain the contribution of personal relationships and love for others.
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