Dialogue and communication

The trick of speaking low to educate children without losing your temper


Have you ever stopped to think how you usually talk to each other at home? Do you usually use yelling or do you keep your voice low? The pedagogue Mario Pinel has it clear: speak quietly to children It is a key habit that helps us educate children from tranquility without losing our temper, fleeing at all times from tension. But how can it be achieved and how can parents learn to control ourselves?

'I told you not to yell at me and speak well!' A mother yelled at her son. Does it sound familiar? Many times, without realizing it, we fall into what we are asking our children to stop doing. To raise children from tranquility, we parents must be the first to work to have a state of inner peace.

How is this achieved? Establishing the habit of speaking quietly at home. It is already known that habits and routines have the objective of facilitating family life, so that it is more fun and pleasant. And this habit of lowering the tone of voice when addressing our children can help us create a more relaxed atmosphere at home.

As with sight, auditory attention also adapts to stimuli that we offer you. What happens when a strong light is pointed directly at our eyes? First, your eyes instinctively close, but your pupils also shrink to protect you.

In the case of the ear, the same thing happens. When we speak to him at a very high level, there comes a time when he stops listening to us. Whereas if we speak at a soft level, he tends to focus to better listen to what we say to him and, therefore, he pays us more attention.

To achieve this, it is as simple as asking the children (using, of course, a relaxed tone of voice and with little volume) speak in a lower voice. Next, we just have to apply the story to ourselves.

The theory seems simple, right? You just have to speak in a lower tone of voice to the children and ask them to do so too. However, we know that on a day-to-day basis, this technique is not as easy to apply as it seems. Our stress, worries, errands, extracurricular activities ... On a daily basis we face many challenges that can put our calm to the test.

What can we do to stay calm ... instead of losing self-control through nerves? The trick that Mario Pinel is very easy to implement and very useful. It is as simple as take a small sip of water. And this technique can be useful for all kinds of situations: when we feel that we are losing control, when we get nervous at work, when we begin to feel anxiety about the situation we are experiencing ...

It is a very simple way to tell the body that there is no danger, that nothing bad is going to happen, that there is no reason to be afraid ... and that therefore you can relax and operate from tranquility.

We cannot forget that we, the parents, are the ones who must have the ability to stop our children when they get carried away by anger or impulsivity. We must keep calm to be able to stop their attacks, as they are still learning to do it (and are developing their brain for it).

As we have seen, speaking in a low tone of voice to our children is one of those habits that we have to incorporate into our way of relating at home. However, there are also another series of routines that can help us improve family life.

We cannot forget that incorporating habits into our daily lives is essential. These provide safety to children, who know what to expect at every moment of the day. But, in addition, they help us organize the home and build the type of family with the values ​​we seek.

This pedagogue explains it with a metaphor that helps to understand it in a simple way. We, parents and children, are a liquid that, when not contained in any container, spills and is irretrievably lost. However, when we put it in, say, a bottle (which we could liken to a habit), the liquid takes shape, is modeled.

But if instead of in a bottle, we put it in a bowl, its shape will be different, the habit will be different. That is why we must pay attention to the type of habits that we incorporate into our lives and those of our children.

[Read +: How to create habits and routines for children]

Some of the habits that also help improve our family relationship are:

  • The Habit of Collaboration: We all have to work as a team to maintain the home.
  • Hygiene and cleanliness habits. The routines that we incorporate into the family also aim to take care of everyone's health.
  • Habits of order ... and disorder. Children should have their space to mess up (and play, and create, and experiment), but also to order so that the rest of the family can carry out their day to day.
  • Any other habit that makes us feel comfortable for family life.

To ensure that these habits are truly established at home, the key is to agree on them among all, as if they were some rules of the game that we all accept. In this way, family life will be easier and we will be able to anticipate possible problems that may arise before they take place.

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