Parents of 5-year-olds know very well that just as their children have evolved and developed new skills and achievements in all areas of their lives, tantrums have evolved with them; so the way to handle them must be different. On the one hand, the fact that they are older and can communicate better than when they were three years old makes it easier, but on the other, they are smarter and have already grasped our weaknesses by setting limits. That is why the process remains challenging. Next we talk about how to accompany 5-year-olds when they have a tantrum.
Let's see what are the achievements that five-year-olds are reaching in different areas of development:
- You can take responsibility for a daily household chore and do it when asked (take out the trash, set the table, water the plants, etc.)
- He eats alone and can even make a snack without help.
- He goes alone to the bathroom, he dresses without help.
- You can cut out, write your name and know and name the letters of the alphabet.
- Participate in adult conversations, imitate adult roles
- Explain the rules of a game or activity to others.
- Tells a familiar story without the help of illustrations, tells its address, tells jokes, and recounts experiences.
- Say compound sentences, use the conditional ('would', 'would', 'would come', etc.), answer the question 'Why?' With an explanation, define words, correctly answer the question 'What if?'.
- Use 'yesterday' and 'tomorrow' correctly, ask the meaning of unfamiliar words, predict what will happen.
There are many achievements and advances of a child at this age. Now they are interacting in the world in a more intense way, they are more attentive to what is happening around them, they want much more things and they manage better to fight for them with more determination, but, on the other hand, they also have the capacity of better understand the reasons why we can't always please them.
So what are the most common causes that 5-year-olds have tantrums?
- You want to have or be bought something at the moment.
- You want to do something and at the moment it is not possible.
- He gets frustrated by something he wants to do alone and cannot.
- You do not want to leave an activity that you like or leave a certain place.
So how can we accompany a 5-year-old during a tantrum? How should we handle a tantrum at these ages? Here are some tips.
1. Make it clear what you expect of him
Before going somewhere, make it clear to your child the type of behavior you expect from him and taking into account the situations that usually trigger his anger, try to anticipate them by talking to him beforehand.
For example: 'We will go to your friend's party and it will be a lot of fun, but when I tell you that it is time to go I hope you understand and there is no problem, because anyway when it is time we will go' or 'We will go to the supermarket And it will be fun, but today we won't be able to buy any toys. '
2. Be patient and keep calm
At this age they are much more aware of parents' reactions and if they see that they are having a hard time, they will probably intensify the tantrum to see if they get what they want. They must be clear that control of the situation is in the hands of adults, not theirs.
3. Talk to him
Briefly explain why you cannot do or have what you want, sometimes they manage to understand and calm down; however, avoid falling into eternal arguments.
4. Be strong
Let him cry and wait for him to calm down, but make it clear from the beginning that there will be no change in the decision. (Obviously when it comes to situations where there is clearly no option).
There are parents who think that it is not a good option to negotiate with children because with it they will lose control of the situation. However, there are times when, especially when it comes to simple things like eating a treat or spending more time watching television, you can negotiate with the child to do it later or change it to something else if he changes his attitude. Obviously it does not apply in all situations, but sometimes it can avoid a horror scene and leave you alone while in the end you have taken control of yourself.
6. Help him recognize his emotions
Once the event has passed and he is calm, analyze the situation with him and help him identify the emotions he felt, making it clear that it is normal to get frustrated, but that it is part of life to learn to control our reactions to what we feel.
Now at five years old, we have a much better chance to start a dialogue with our son and analyze the different situations that arise to make the best of them and help him better cope with frustration.
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