After several days (and they go for weeks) it seems that this reality of staying at home in confinement has settled in our lives as if it were our new routine, but it is not like that. There was a time ... when there was no coronavirus! We want to share with you the precious reflection that Cristina de Arespacochaga, GoodyHelp psychologist, has written for our site, in addition to joining her #coronastopmiedo initiative.
Once upon a time where the mornings were chaos, where the clock ticked and the shouts of 'Run we're late!' They were repeated like a mantra, where the children spilled their milk on each other, surely on purpose for many of us (note the sarcasm) to give more excitement to the fact of being able to leave the house safely.
There was once stress, traffic jams, extracurricular ... what was that? They were those activities that together cost more money per month than what we spent per boy and girl in their monthly school fees, believing that they needed more stimulation, more sports, more entertainment and to arrive more tired at the end of the day.
Once upon a time, where in the afternoons the damn clock appeared again, the rush and the rush to get to bed on time, after having had a very healthy dinner, brushing teeth loudly so they wouldn't spit out of the sink and finally a The story is neither too short nor too long, just enough, because then came the 'I want water' and 'I want to pee' ...
Existed at that time, couples who did not speak, couples who were only fathers and / or mothers, who as the children went to bed, then fell down on their beds, to regain strength, since the next day the races would begin again.
At that time, we were bothered by setbacks, changes of plans, that one of our children became ill, that meeting that could not wait upset us. The eternal sibling fights drove us crazy… Oh my God! If they have everything! What do you want now? Can't you see I'm busy and I have so much to do! What a good times!
But suddenly one day, something tinier than a speck of dust and more aggressive than a herd of running elephants, brought the world to a standstill. It stopped the clock, it stopped the calendar, the meetings, the extracurricular ones… it stopped the race.
Suddenly, it was necessary to learn to live as a family 24 hours a day, without leaving home and without having support, it was necessary to learn to do work remotely while preparing food, it was necessary to learn to 'act as teachers of our children', it was necessary to learn to go slowly no longer to be in a hurry. Don't be in a rush precisely to fill the days.
The couple appeared as a partner, as support, to be able to take turns and be able to gradually take out the work of each one and one,… the team emerged and we made a space for love.
The need to create a small schedule or routine appeared where yes or yes board games, movies with popcorn are contemplated ... family time arose.
We began to notice that the children asked us for more stimulation and that we could not always attend to it ...boredom appeared, and with it creativity and great ideas.
Not being able to go to the supermarket to buy food every day appeared, so you had to eat the leftovers and explain to the children that you can't throw away food ... healthy eating emerged.
Emotions of sadness, fear and anger appeared in the children (Before they were of course), but there was no time to attend to them, because we were always late ... The emotional accompaniment of the children arose, where we sat and with all the patience and time in the world, we waited to be able to give them a hug to comfort them. From this accompaniment the secure attachment was reinforced.
Sadness appeared in the adult tooIn anger and frustration, and not being able to escape it, the need for emotional self-control arose.
We saw that it was suddenly essential to take care of ourselves and take personal time for ourselves in order to have more patience with the children, and we began to exercise at home, to dance, read, take a relaxing bath, take a nap, etc., and self-care appeared.
We began to observe our children more in how they play, we began to pay more attention to their tastes, their way of resolving conflicts, how they express themselves, and we liked it. The connection with them / them arose and the love increased.
Sure, those career days were great, but what came next made us better fathers, better mothers, and better people. Of course our children noticed this.
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