Our children, as they grow up, go through different stages and moments of crisis that aim to adjust to their new way of understanding the world around them, affirm themselves as an individual being and configure what will be, in the future, the personality of the children. children. One of these first 'conflicts' is usually observed with the 2-year crisis and it is what we also know as the 'little adolescence' or the 'terrible 2'.
This time, in our site We are talking about this terrible crisis of 2 years that can last beyond 3. With this post we will try to explain to you the reason for this imbalance, its characteristics and what to do to manage the challenges posed by this stage in the best possible way .
Throughout these first two years, our children's brains have undergone spectacular development. During this time they have learned to walk, they begin to say their first words and they recognize themselves as someone other than mother. That is to say become aware of themselves.
To vindicate this nascent and expanding 'I', its first opposition crises appear. It is his way of saying to himself and to the world 'I have my tastes, my preferences and I don't want to do everything that you (mom, dad or reference adult) want me to do, eat or see, because you are you and me It's me. We are different beings. '
This uncomfortable and sometimes difficult stage for many parents it is absolutely essential for the proper development of our children. This phase of imbalance and rebalancing allows to start the first steps of organizing the personality of the little ones. With it they also learn where their limits and possibilities of action are.
It is a fundamental stage in which fathers and mothers must learn to set reasonable limits and rules that give them security. This does not mean that they accept them willingly, hence the protests, tantrums and stubbornness that characterize this stage, as you will see below.
The fundamental characteristics of this first crisis that all children go through, with greater or lesser intensity, are basically the following:
- Appearance of the first tantrums.
- Start of stubbornness and protests.
- The 'no' is one of his favorite words.
As we mentioned at the beginning, these characteristics have to do with the need for independence and autonomy of our children as a result of their increasing motor skills and their need to explore the world to learn. Children of this age need to move and touch everything in an adult world that sometimes wants to see them calmer and less cluttered.
Tantrums, stubbornness and protests that are generated because children of this age like to do things for themselves. If you have a child of this age you will surely hear him say 'no, just me' quite often. And try again and again to do something that we have prohibited. Although we dislike it, we must know that it is necessary for them to do so because by doing so they ensure where the limits of their possibilities are.
To all this is added his egocentric view of the world. The 2-year-old still does not understand the point of view of others and therefore does not understand why he cannot get that toy he wants, the candy that he likes so much or whatever he wants at that moment. As his language still does not allow him to express in words the frustration he feels, he shows his anger, helplessness or disappointment through his body: kicking, crying and screaming.
What can we parents do to 'survive' this terrible 2-year crisis? Let's look at some tips.
1. Have large doses of patience and empathy
Parents with children of this age need patience and empathy. Understand this stage and see the 2-year crisis as a phase of the normal development of your little one who does nothing but grow and try to adapt to the world around him.
2. Set limits and norms
In addition, this is the ideal time to think about what limits to set and how to establish certain rules: the simpler and clearer the better. Without exceeding the quantity and applying them from that unconditional love that requires an education based on positive parenting. This does not mean either, letting them do whatever they want or avoiding annoyances, frustrations or disappointments, since we would run the risk of becoming negligent or overly protective parents.
3. Practice habits and routines
At this age, it is best to put certain habits and routines into practice, from the game and the flexibility that this stage requires in which children fluctuate from one emotion to another with great ease. It will also help to put words to those emotions and help them to calm down. For this it is necessary that adults do not get upset or lose our nerves in the face of oppositional, stubborn and stubborn behaviors.
4. Find information and training for parents
Knowing how children are, think and feel in each of their stages will help us to cope with these crises that will occur at different times in their development.
5. Develop our own Emotional Intelligence
But we also need to know how to handle our own frustration, anger, and disappointment so that we can be a good role model. Remember that you are the mirror where they look at themselves and that children learn more from what they see us do than from what we tell them.
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