Without a doubt, one of our main challenges as parents is set limits and propose rules to our children and see to it that they respect them while our emotional ties remain strong and stable with them. Of course, as they get older, this task becomes complex and begins to involve more elements than when they are smaller. This time we talk about 8 year old childrenWhat can we expect at this stage of development, what strategies can we follow to be successful in the mission, and what things should we avoid?
The first thing we must know to effectively set limits for 8-year-olds is to know what we can expect from them.
- They are becoming more and more independent.
- They face increasing academic challenges at school, which demands greater effort and responsibility.
- They begin to understand more the point of view of others and to care more about others.
- They establish stronger relationships with their friends or peers.
- They begin to feel more pressure from them and to be able to be influenced by the group to which they belong.
- They are able to express their experiences, ideas and feelings more clearly.
Here are some guidelines for managing limits and rules with our children at this stage:
1. Recognize your skills and accomplishments
It is important that we recognize each achievement of our child; not only academically, but also in behaviors that are positive, generous, empathetic and supportive.
2. Help you develop your sense of responsibility
Through daily tasks that are only under his charge such as making his bed, attending to the needs of his pet, taking care of a plant, etc.
3. Establish good communication channels
Talk to him about his daily experiences, his interests, his friends, the future, school, etc.
4. Help you develop values
Continually seek opportunities to develop values such as generosity, empathy, solidarity, etc.
5. Support you in setting short, achievable goals
This will allow you to feel proud and confident and less dependent on the approval of others.
6. Establish clear rules and schedules
In addition, we must verify that you have clearly understood all the house rules, schedules and routines that we are going to have so that you comply with them consistently.
7. Reinforce positive behaviors
And in the case of having to put some consequence, handle it as a temporary loss of any of the privileges that you normally enjoy, which you can recover once the behavior improves.
8. Drive you to solve new challenges
How to organize for teamwork, perform tasks or solve any difficulty with a friend or colleague before intervening.
9. Motivate him to read
Go with him to a bookstore and let him choose a book that catches his attention, set aside a time to do it together and learn lessons from what you read. This activity in addition to bonding them affectively will open the opportunity to develop your imagination and find through books, lessons and life values.
10. Model by example
No matter how old they are, this strategy will always be the most important, since how we act as parents will largely depend on the attitudes our child takes in each situation.
On the other hand, there are certain things that we must be alert not to do, since they contribute to creating double messages and to the limits being crossed by our children easily:
11. Avoid frustration by putting everything you want at your fingertips
Many times to avoid these emotions in our child, we are willing to give him the things he wants immediately. On the contrary, we must help you to work hard and to know how to wait for the things you want. If you need to get frustrated with what you can't have right away, that's a good way to help you develop your tolerance for frustration.
12. Develop competitiveness in it
There are parents who, in their eagerness for their child to excel, continually give him the message directly or indirectly that he must be better than others. This, far from helping him, generates insecurity and the need to constantly compare himself with others. Rather, the message should be to do your best and outdo yourself.
13. Spending too much time in front of screens (computers, cell phones, video games, etc.)
At this age, children begin to want to spend a lot of time entertaining themselves with screens. It is necessary to regulate its use with clear schedules and always as a result of effort and completed schoolwork.
14. Share our time with him looking at the cell phone
Most children of these ages complain that their parents are always looking at their cell phones and not listening to them. This only causes communication to become increasingly distant and the child also withdraws into his own games and is more reluctant to talk.
15. Addressing negative adjectives instead of referring to the behavior to avoid
For example, 'you are lazy' for 'lately you are not putting effort in your homework'. This expression makes it much clearer that it is a behavior that must change and that it does not define him as a person.
As our child grows we must be more and more aware that he receives the right message from us so that he is much clearer about what we really expect from him.
You can read more articles similar to 15 keys you should know to set limits for 8-year-olds, in the Limits category - On-site discipline.