Limits - Discipline

What is Mindful Parenting and Why We Should Use It More


It seems that the place of the little ones in the society in which we live was less and less clear, that their needs are blurred in the rush in which we all live, and that their development and vitality is slowed down by obstacles that adults themselves put up on their way. To deal with these aspects, I propose conscious parenting, based on the observation of the child and their accompaniment.

In essence, conscious parenting is both a journey and an exercise in introspection, it is making the decision to stop and consider the change that incorporating a new member into our family implies.

In the dizzying pace that today's society imposes on us, and despite the sacrifice and dedication of families, the needs of the little ones are sometimes lost sight of, because we incorporate them into our own rhythm of life, in our haste.

On the other hand, it is also common that we do not observe the boy or girl that we have by our side, that we do not stop to know how they are, and that we nevertheless project on them the ideal image of the boy or girl that we want to have.

From these observations come the roots of conscious parenting, whose pillars are:

1. Observation
It is the starting attitude to meet the little ones, observe them while they play, while they interact with the world. Paying attention to their frustrations without facilitating success or avoiding failure, checking their reaction to stimuli, attending to their rhythms ... There is no better activity in which to invest the quality time we have to enjoy them.

2. The accompaniment
Accompanying is being by the child's side without intervening. It does not mean meeting all their desires as soon as they are expressed, but rather discovering their needs and satisfying them so that they feel loved and safe, within healthy rhythms and limits and in accordance with the family to which they belong.

The basic needs of a child are: to eat healthy, rest the necessary time, be and feel clean, enjoy a safe environment and PLAY. Accompanying them, in the spaces and times in which these needs are developed and covered, is our fundamental task.

3. Free play
Play is the touchstone, the fundamental tool to accompany children between 0 and 7 years old. A free game, through which they will begin to relate to the world and the people around them. A free game, but not for that chaotic, but according to their skills and abilities, to their rhythms.

From this base, the knowledge of how each boy and girl is in their essence is established.

This is the starting point for each family, in its uniqueness, to build a common environment, into which to incorporate this new little person. And it is very important that families discover that they are not alone in this task. It is our job as educators to resolve the doubts that families present to us, to accompany them in their personal weaknesses and in their insecurity when adapting to the reality of having a new member in their lives, which undergo a 180-degree change.

And it is wonderful to witness the humility that many families have when it comes to recognizing their difficulties, insecurities and doubts, and to go to those who know more - be it the pediatrician or the educator - when it comes to solving them. This is undoubtedly the best recommendation to build conscious parenting.

Regarding educators, regardless of the educational aspect on which their training has been based, we understand that the skills to rely on to accompany families in the upbringing and development of their children are none other than observation, effective communication and non-intervention. Transmit to families the results of observation and interaction with their daughter or son, taking into account the essence and uniqueness of each family and that the adaptation of each has its own rhythm, requires its own time and has a unique direction and personal.

If we stop to observe, looking at what today's children need, not their wishes or what we want for them, and we dedicate the time we have (without own or external demands or pressures) to accompany them on their way, everything will be easier, and it will go well.

JoaquĆ­n Ortega, pedagogue

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Video: Mindful Parenting (September 2020).