Conduct

Past, present and future of children at risk of social and personal exclusion


There are boys and girls who, despite their young age, have lived experiences that do not correspond to them or have been in situations that no one should ever go through. There are also others who have been spoiled too much, they have perched the iron throne from a young age and their will is served on a silver platter at too high a price. For both, the acts and / or the past of their parents mortgage their future while their childhood develops with unknown people in sheltered homes, foster families or centers for minors, giving YOUR INNOCENCE as the only guarantee. We talk about children at risk of social and personal exclusion and how they face their future.

When there is no choice but to leave, when you have to unexpectedly leave the place where you live and have grown up, when you leave everything behind and the farewell is a fact, the only illusion you have left, perhaps, is to be able to fill that void soon with the hope of a return.

When this happens to you when you are three, six or eight years old and your opinion is not taken into account, you leave alone or accompanied by a brother to another city, turning your childhood upside down, observing through tears the gap that opens between you and your loved ones - the same ones who have neglected or overprotected you, mistreated or ignored you until you feel abandoned - and those who receive you on the other side are strange people, so, only then, the innocence and ignorance of that age are the only reasons that allow you to stay sane.

On a daily basis, too many minors are forced to leave their homes at a very young age to go to live in centers or sheltered housing for minors. In these resources of the Administration they receive and protect them temporarily or permanently, depending on the case. This will sometimes depend on the will or possibilities of their families, and the work that can be done with them to solve errors and redirect a situation that is given to minors and that directly, without warning, turns them into victims. Everything will be determined by that will and those opportunities to ensure that children do not feel 'stored'.

They are lives broken as soon as they are born, built on mud foundations. Most of their parents have in common lives unstructured by drugs, crime, abuse, abandonment or all at once. But not only in families of low sociocultural level do these cases occur.

Currently the overprotection that comes with offering the solution before the need arises, the overwork of parents that carries with it an inattention that is supplemented with hours of video games, the lack of a 'no' in time to mark the limits or the The reversal of roles where the wishes and interests of children are those that are imposed on common sense is making many parents with a 'normalized' socioeconomic situation unable to guide and educate their children, which has become, in recent years, in a cause for which minors enter these centers.

The minors grow up in this environment and normalize it. So those who see their parents go to work every day, help each other, respect each other and take care of themselves assume it as normal, there is a risk that those who see them taking drugs, committing crimes or giving a beating as a speech, also assume it as something natural. On the other hand, those who have passed from the cradle to the throne and from there direct and manipulate, do not want to get off it and do not understand why they should do so.

They arrive at these frightened places, they are received by unknown hands, neutral hearts. They are programmed a fictitious, 'normal' life, in a false home and to avoid the social and personal risk that being with their families implies, they are educated against nature, trying to eliminate perennial vices that were the norm at home. Here they are offered normalized social structures, they are removed from danger, they are given support, affection, they are listened to, they are helped to train the person, the pieces of the puzzle are arranged, but how do these rearranged pieces fit into the puzzles of their families?

We must not forget that some children do not want papier-mâché or make-up to hide their reality, because what they are and have been - in many cases - is what they intend to continue being, and what they are offered in these homes or not. they want, or they are just warm cloths unable to mitigate the helplessness of being outside of their family.

It is the theory of the eternal return: the parents did not know or could not do it and now it is the children who suffer the consequences. Is the problem being misbehaved or is the problem simply difficult to grasp? Should we intervene in the family from the core, from within, and whenever possible, avoid the trauma and irreparable damage that separating children from their parents involves?

The solution is complicated, but reality says that there are still many cases in which, While the parents share a cell, the children live in the sheltered homes, And so the cycle continues.

Those who hopefully return to their families after time because the situation allows it, tend to be left with a sour experience of their passage through these resources. In this journey they have been educated by countless people with standardized criteria who, sometimes, unfairly and due to ignorance, are often blamed for their situation. At the same time, if the working conditions of the educators are not adequate, they leave the job looking for a job improvement, which causes a movement of people and an instability that does not favor the creation of sufficient links with the minors, who are in such need of stable referents.

When the return to the family does not materialize, there are reactions that can range from 'scratching' the affection of everyone close to them, to creating firm knots of feelings to protect themselves from everyone who approaches, passing through those others that replace the lack of love for material things that mislead your mind and evade it. As they get older within them, hopelessness, disappointment, and perhaps hatred have fermented, day by day, disappointment after disappointment. Innocence and ignorance, then, are no longer reasons to maintain sanity and, to tell the truth, they are not without reasons.

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