Conduct

Parents should not be afraid that their children will be frustrated


Frustration is a basic emotion in a child's learning process. As parents, we have a duty to work with them this value and, above all, we have to lose it the fear that our children will be frustrated because, through it, they will learn a valuable lesson. What if we take advantage of the Christmas season to work with them the frustration? It is an ideal occasion for it, although we can also move it to another time of the year!

It seems that lately Christmas is focused on everything that has to do with the material, but Christmas is more than just gifts. This is a perfect time to talk and work on emotions.

Unfortunately, today's children focus more on material things than on emotional things and it happens that everything related to receiving a gift - be it at Christmas, for their birthday or good grades - can reach them. to generate great anxiety and much impatience and restlessness. They want it all and they want it now!

And it is not unusual that on the morning of December 25, the child wakes up before his usual time to see what Santa Claus has left him and open the gifts quickly and without hardly noticing what is under the paper. Then the grandparents, cousins ​​and uncles come with more packages (much larger if possible) and already the little one enters an almost intoxicating state. It is overshadowed with so many things!

What many parents do is leave some gifts in the child's room and store others in the storage room to give them spacedly. And that 'little by little' is what should always be done, as Andrés París, pedagogue and educational coach, explains. 'During the year, parents should make sure that the child does not lack material things but also emotional things: a lot of hug, a lot of affection, a lot of applause, a lot of caress'.

Parents are afraid that our children will be frustrated and that means that we do not generate, and even avoid situations in which frustration may appear. It gives us terror or panic because we do not know what frustration gives children learning.

When a person is frustrated, they can do two things: either leave it as it is or look for those tools that help them face that circumstance in which I have failed and allow them to grow. And is that frustration is personal you get frustrated, it is something that affects a person individually. It is very important not to confuse frustration with disappointment caused by someone: a friend, a teacher, a brother, your football team ...

For all this, as parents, We must set scenarios for our children so that they frustrate and grow as people. But beware, we should never create high expectations for them because then they don't get frustrated, they get disappointed, and then tantrums come.

For example, if we make them believe that they will have ten gifts for Christmas, because that is what they have written in front of us in the letter from Santa Claus or the Three Wise Men, and in the end they only have five, they will be angry (and with good reason!) with us, because we made them believe something that was not going to be, and

The main consequence that appears after a disappointment is the dreaded tantrums, on the other hand, in the case of frustration what there is is an anger with oneself because things have not turned out as the person thought, and this is essential that parents have it clear to know when the child is frustrated or when he is disappointed.

And another very basic and simple thing to avoid reaching this moment of disappointment and tantrum: parents must ask and not take things for granted. For example, in the run-up to Christmas, chat with the children about what to expect on the night of December 24, what are your wishes for Santa Claus or his majesties from the East ... And, with what they tell us, go to work and lowering expectations.

Let's take advantage of Christmas so that they learn and discover what frustration is, but without disappointment, and let's take good note to transfer this lesson and knowledge during the 365 days of the year that we are about to begin.

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