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'How brave!' or 'you're crazy'! are two of the phrases I've heard more times since I was mom of three kids. Well, neither brave nor insane, just mothers of a large family.
How difficult it is to have to give explanations of why you have decided have more than two children when the person in front of you already has a fully formed opinion about your reasons, which usually range from the fact that your religion prevents you from using contraception to that you earn a lot of money. I still don't fit into any of those groups. I insist, I am only a mother of three children.
Having three children is not easy, it can be a real headache, but although many may not believe it, it also has many good things:
- Having several siblings is one of the best things that can happen to you. From the brothers you learn to fight, to share, to strive, to negotiate, to be more patient ... What's more, when they get tired of playing between two, there is always another available to play new games.
- Social benefits: there are not many, but there are reductions for traveling by public transport, for entering museums, for school fees or tax deductions.
- Few people dare to give you parenting tips when you have had the third, something quite tedious when you are a new mother.
- You have a great excuse to don't do things you don't feel like doing: 'Oh, with three it is impossible for me to accompany you to that interesting meeting!'
- You learn, by force, to be multidisciplinary, and to attend to several tasks at the same time, something very useful to focus on other aspects such as work.
In reality everything is restricted to one thing: time. There is no material time for yourself, all the hours of the day available after work are for them. Each one of you has your needs and you can't stop meeting them because you have more than two.
This means that sometimes you wear socks of different colors, that you have forgotten to make food for yourself or that the hairdresser is that dark object of desire that one day you will be able to step on. Or even, the couple's relationship is often restricted to greeting your husband down the hall while he is going to change a diaper and you to shower two at the same time.
But, when you finally manage to get half an hour for yourself, you enjoy it as if it were the last thirty minutes on the planet, squeezing and enjoying every second. The 'guts' and 'trimamas' are the best students of the theory of Carpe Diem.
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