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When the child is the center of our world

When the child is the center of our world


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Do you know what infantolatry is? Parents usually love our children more than ourselves. We would even rather be bad than they are. We also strive to meet all your needs and wants over and above our own needs and wants.

When we become parents, we start a dynamic, in which our universe of routines, activities, social encounters, work begins to revolve around our children. When we adapt constantly and at all times to the child, we fall into infantolatry.

When our children are very young and especially if we are new parents, it seems that the world revolves exclusively around whether our child has to snack, sleep, eat or play. It seems that their schedules are incompatible with those that we had carried until then so we go adapting, giving up and conforming to the needs of our child by giving up ours.

This is not that this is neither good nor bad, it is a personal option as long as we do not feel overwhelmed by this situation. Fathers and mothers find ourselves in situations in which we have to meet the wishes and, of course, the needs of our children, because we love them and we do not want them to cry or suffer, or feel like bad parents. However, this situation taken to extremes can become that all family life revolves around our children above common sense or logic, above even in some cases our own health. In short, infantolatry happens when children are the center of the family and there is no room for anything other than them.

What can we do? Where do you start to limit your wishes? It is not an education issue as you might think, it is not that children have to learn that there is a no or that they have to know that they cannot have everything. Children simply believe that the world revolves around their wishes. So what does it mean to ensure that family life does not revolve around our son?

It consists of knowing what capacity for frustration our child endures, there is the difficulty, in knowing that our son will be able to resist and that he will not, that is what must be strengthened in them, small frustrations that they can bear without reaching to enter the tantrum or the disconsolate cry that no longer serves to learn, but only as a discharge.

We can provide little frustrations that they are able to tolerate, to increase and develop his capacity for frustration until he can bear the denial of his wishes. Thus we will be able to make our children grow and mature in tolerance to frustration.

You can read more articles similar to When the child is the center of our world, in the category of Being mothers and fathers on site.


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